these would be posts about girls I want to stick my thang into!
Oct 6 2006
Sep 10 2006
I think the innernets are planning the next September 11th attack IN MY BLOG zOMG!!
86 comments and counting! That’s hott!! I hope none of them are directed at me because I have no clue what those funny letters mean. I’m just a dum mexican american, ok?
or maybe it has to do with the fact that I am the top hit for “sex cam” on the funny letter google.
Aug 14 2006
I had a lot of fun Saturday night. I don’t read the blogs of most of the people that were there, (mainly because they write novels for posts and my attention span isn’t nearly that big!) but I was for sure aware of all of them.
My favorite part of the night was J-Lo’s little sister that we had as a waitress at Tobacco Road. I WOULD!!! I was especially in love when she brought me a beer that I didn’t even order. It turned out that NicFitKid had ordered it and I felt kind of bad for bogarting it.
I guess that’s about all I have to say about that. Oh yeah… I kind of wish there had been more hot single girls there. I had to ride home with 2 dudes. Maybe next time.
Also, both the Seattle Seahawks and the Miami Dolphins lost this weekend. About the only thing that could have been worse is if the Cougars, Huskies and Hurricanes also lost. I think I have to wait about a month for that to happen.
Aug 7 2006
A fair percentage of our cliental at work consists of zOMG SO HAWT models. Today one such client was at the front counter. Some jackass guy walking down Washington saw her, called the number on our sign, and asked to speak to “the girl in the green shirt and white pants”. Are you kidding me? Are you fucking drnk?? What a dickfur! If you want to talk to some chick, TALK TO HER! Don’t bother/involve us with your macking game! It was kind of awesome because the girl didn’t want anything to do with the guy.
We seriously need our own reality tv show.
On another work related note… Gustavo and Blanca (nobody ever calls her by her name… They always call her “Bianca” or “Maria”. I have no idea why, and she never has the heart to correct them.) are in Guatemala so Andrejko has been filling in. The first day they were gone Andrejko and I both showed up wearing old Lazerland shirts. It was kind of funny. It’s kind of like the boss at Pizza Hut going on vacation, so people show up wearing Rustica shirts.
Jul 18 2006
I typed out a big long story about this video, but I decided to keep it to myself.
Here is a keyword for myself in case I ever forget what I typed about: frustrating!
And if you really want to know about it, I might be inclined to tell you if you ask nicely.
Also… I smell Mormon!
Jul 5 2006
I spent several hours at the meta cafe today!
I LOL’d!!
I think I just fell in love!!
I still want an EVO more!
…and one girl was like “FANLESS loves ME more than you!” and another girl was like “He loves me more because he lets me call him ‘Chris’!” and another girl was like “Nuh-uh!!” and the other one was like “F U!” and then…
…and it didn’t even stop there…
Even when we go to the beach, my hos can’t get along.
LOL WHAT
p0wnt!
Color me impressed!!
Ditto.
Perfect for soccer moms!
I need one of these!!
I saw this on TV and it was amazing!!
Talk about a fluster cluck!
Meanwhile, I can’t even win a game of tic-tac-toe against myself…
no words
Must be karma.
ALIENS EXIST!!
I bet I would get all the hawt chyxXx if I could do this!!
MILF!! DANG!
BUST BIG!!
If the news was like this every day, I’d never miss it!
Jun 27 2006
Sometimes it kind of sucks to have your commute to work be only 11 steps across an alley. Here are two things I miss the most about having any sort of commute at all: (wow, great word choice! I have no idea what I just said.)
1) Having a reason to ride my bike every day (not that I really need a reason)
2) most of all, happening upon things like this. (this was 1 year ago today) Granted, if Miami Vice were being filmed at Mansion today I probably would have seen it in my 11 steps to work, but that’s not really my point. Outside of that, nothing really ever happens in the alley. I’m not really bitching about not having a commute… I just kind of miss it at times.
Jun 21 2006
Ok, let me try this again…
…so it’s now 4-thirty something AM and I can still hear car horns honking, people chanting, and all-around gay old times being had outside!
Here are 457 (blurry) pictures from tonight’s impromptu celebration on Ocean Drive.
Tonight was so fun! I wish the Heat could win the Championship every day! If tonight was any sort of prelude for the parade later in the week, then Miami will probably come unhinged!!
Here are a few highlights.
Can’t stop the Heat!!
I WOULD!!
CHAMPS!! (plus, I WOULD!!)
I WOULD!! (The news chick, not the dude.)
Dancing in the street! (I’d say I WOULD!! but then I would end up in jail because she’s only 15 or something so I’m not going to say I WOULD!!)
Of course I WOULD!!
H00RAY!! We’re #1!
GO HEAT!!
The girl in the red shorts flashed her tits, but 1) my camera didn’t want to focus so I missed the money shot, and 2) she was facing the wrong way.
This girl kind of flashed her tits too.
Another news girl I WOULD!! She was almost as tall as Shaq too!
Ghetto or what?
LOL WHAT
DA-VID HAS-SEL-HOFF!
oh hay I can see up your skirt!!
ok, the end
I really hope these pics work. I have never used Picasa webalbums or whatever before. Hey, I better go to bed!! I have to be at work in a few hours.
Jun 7 2006
Yesterday I met a girl and I was like I WOULD!! But before I tried to sweat her I looked her up on myspace and it said she is a lesbian and I was like OH NOSE and I was really thankful for myspace because being shot down would have pushed me over the edge theend
Mar 8 2006
Did you notice? Have you seen them?? I’m sure you have, but if not, you soon will because…
Oh, yes! My favorite time of year!! From this last weekend until Memorial Day Weekend I will be on a mission to stank as many hos as I can. Oh, wait… No, that’s not really true. But I will be trying to attend as many bikini/wet t-shirt contests as I can for the next 3 months!
After that, I try to stay inside as much as I can because it’s too dang hot out for a fat lazy guy like me.
Mar 3 2006
I slept on my couch last night. (I actually started typing this yesterday, so ?last night? means Wednesday night/Thursday morning. I did, however, sleep on the couch again last night!) I remember watching a few episodes of Criminal Minds that I had burned to DVD,and the next thing I know it’s 7AM. I thought about moving to my bed for a couple more hours of sleep… I thought about going to the beach… I ended up staying on the couch and sleeping until about 9.
I think pretty much everyone at work has had a cold/flu the past couple of weeks. I was very worried I was going to get it too, and I am such a baby when I am not well. An occasional shot of ZiCam seems to have kept the illness at bay. I thought I was feeling something coming on yesterday, but I feel better (as in normal) today so either it was nothing or it didn’t turn into anything.
I AM IN DIRE NEED OF A GYM BUDDY!!! If you want to go to Crunch with me at like 7 or 8 in the morning, or after 6 PM, please leave a comment. When Chad, Lissette and I joined the gym in July of 2003 (I remember the first time we went to the gym was the first night The O.C. was on and we watched it from a treadmill! I’ve been hooked ever since.) I told them that the only way I would go to the gym was if they went too. That worked out fine for a while, but then Chad got sick and then they both moved off of the beach and I was left alone.
I think I want my gym buddy to be a girl. That way, I won’t look like a jackass when I’m lifting girl weights. Some big tuff (tough/buff – You know, because most of those buff dudes are true sissies! I ain’t trying to hate… I’m just saying!) guy walks by and I can be like “What? These are her settings!!”
I still wish I had that imaging device that would record everything I see so I can put it on the innernets! This morning I was returning to the office after buying a can of Monster energy, and as I walked in, some model dropped her iPod. I kneeled down to pick it up for her, and she kneeled down too. When I looked up to hand it to her I was greeted by her beaver, prominently on display for the whole world to see, thanks to her very short denim skirt. I stammered a bit because I am 14 years old and it caught me off gaurd, but I eventually got ?Here you go.? from beyond my lips, while looking her in the eye. (and I don?t mean her chicken eye!) I don?t think I stared at it for too long, and I doubt she even knows what I saw.
I must say, today was a good day!
Anyways, that was all meant to be posted yesterday, but I was… I dunno, too lazy? Maybe I was just too busy to post it yesterday. That sounds better!
Today I forgot my camera at home and there have been some lollerific photo opportunities that I missed. Also, some woman that was on this week?s Wife Swap is sitting next to me. I didn?t watch the show. Is she a complete bitch or what?
Oh, also… If my mother could see me right now she would not be happy with me. Way back in August of 2004 when I was in Washington State for a week or so, I was getting ready to spend the day with my Uncle in the middle of nowhere. I dressed myself in camo cargo shorts and a lime green t-shirt. When moms saw me she told me to change my clothes because I clashed. I didn?t change my clothes, and now I feel naughty whenever I wear that shirt/shorts combination (like today). In addition, if you are looking for cloths and accessories for baby wearing, bulk bibs available here.
Sorry, mom! I wear what I want to wear.
P.S.: I didn’t proof read this so plz point out any tyops!
Oct 25 2006
burning
Is this hot? Because one part of my brain is saying “Yes, you dickfur!! This is hot! WATCH IT AGAIN!” and another part is like “Um… this looks kind of ridiculous and she should clean her room and I think this girl might actually be young enough to be my daughter so I’m probably going to hell (or jail!) for watching this!”
PLZ ADVISE!
Also…
Same scenario.
Oh, this reminds me of last year’s Halloween when I was on Lincoln Road! I have no Halloween plans as of this moment. Maybe I’ll be on Lincoln Road again and MAYBE those girls will be there again too. That would be awesome.
P.S.: Further surfing of the tubes has lead me to the epitome of… I don’t even know where to start. If these girls were drnk when they made this video (and I’m assuming they were not), can you imaging how embarrassed they would be the next day? For fucks sake, I think I’m embarrassed for them! Is this a sure sign of me getting old? I mean, in the illustrious words of Funkmaster Flex, be clear. I have contributed countless dumb videos of me and my friends to the innernets. (more here)And maybe some people are embarrassed for me, but I’m not. Do you think that the fact that I can’t conceive what these girls were thinking when they uploaded these videos to the net means I am REALLY old?
That kind of scares me.
By FANLESS • Uncategorized • 2 • Tags: I WOULD!!!, IRL, LOL INNERNETS, Pictures, South Beach