{"id":237,"date":"2006-09-19T10:41:00","date_gmt":"2006-09-19T14:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanless.com\/blog\/2006\/09\/19\/zomg-exclusive-interview\/"},"modified":"2006-09-19T14:44:03","modified_gmt":"2006-09-19T18:44:03","slug":"zomg-exclusive-interview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/09\/19\/zomg-exclusive-interview\/","title":{"rendered":"zOMG!  Exclusive Interview!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As part of the <a href=\"http:\/\/greenermiami.googlepages.com\/miamicrossblogination\">Miami Cross Blogination<\/a> project, <a href=\"http:\/\/sexandthebeach.blogspot.com\">Manola 180<\/a> risked life and limb to catch the elusive Fanless on IM!  Finally, South Beach&#8217;s sexiest Mexican bares all in a sensitive, heartfelt interview.<\/p>\n<p>Manola: Fanless, you&#8217;ve reached over 200,000 hits. WTF?<\/p>\n<ul>\nFirst of all, I hit  over 200,000 hits way back in like 1996. But recently I acquired 200,000 hits in one month! So, obviously, counting all of those hits has taken up a lot of my time. And do you know how hard it is to count to 200,000+ when you only have 10 fingers and 10 toes to count on?? It ain&#8217;t easy, let me tell ya!<\/ul>\n<p>Manola:  Yet, your reputation for giving great photoshop jobs precums you. What was the worst evar photoshop job you had to do? More spermifically, did it involve pubic hairs from a dood?<\/p>\n<ul>\nI have definitely had to tame my fair share of dick fur, but that doesn&#8217;t bother me too much. I mean, I don&#8217;t enjoy it, but it doesn&#8217;t annoy me nearly as much as asinine retouching requests. I&#8217;m talking about stuff that doesn&#8217;t make a blonde cunt hair&#8217;s difference, but the client keeps sending the image back until it is EXACTLY how they want it. I&#8217;m like, &#8220;Look, you&#8217;re not going to get booked for that Guess Jeans job just because there&#8217;s a fucking extra inch of fence in the background of your picture, ok? You might want to lay off of the H\u00c3\u00a4agen-Dazs if you&#8217;re looking for ways to boost your bookability.&#8221; There&#8217;s a saying in the trade that goes like this&#8230; &#8220;You can&#8217;t polish a turd!&#8221;<\/ul>\n<p>Manola:  Hmm. We&#8217;re all crazy about you, but move over Fanless. How about LAWLESS? An insider from The Fart Deco Preservation Society leaked some confidential information about a cease and desist letter on the usage of GREEN and PINK. It&#8217;s also rumored that an attorney-at-flaw wants to fajita-grill your ass for giving his daughter an overdose of javascript that ended in prophylactic seizures. Supp?<\/p>\n<ul>\nI&#8217;m on beer # 2.5.  Can I get drnk before answering that?<\/ul>\n<p>Manola:  Oh nose! Hey, you needn&#8217;t go into detail &#8230; next question!  You are the most elusive, least photographed celebrity hunted by the paparazzi! How do you do it? Personally, I&#8217;ve been stalking you every time you&#8217;ve ordered an over-priced quesadilla at News Caf\u00c3\u00a9, but you slide in and out like a tequila-lubricated one-night stand!<\/p>\n<ul>\nYeah, ya know&#8230; Haters all around, I tell ya. Here&#8217;s the thing&#8230; I do my thing, and people bitch about it. Even if it doesn&#8217;t have anything to do with them. And then I&#8217;ll stop doing my thing and people start to bitch, saying they&#8217;ve got to get theirs too. And I&#8217;m like&#8230; Pick a lane, Ed! One or the other already! AND THEN people are gonna try to blame ME for their mental issues? HELLO? The shit goes all blinky\/shaky\/blinding\/whatever for a reason! Hell yeah people are gonna trip! That&#8217;s the point!  People try to shit on me, and I just try to stay on top and keep smiling. Life is like fucking a fat girl&#8230; Sometimes it can be easy to lose your focus and forget what you&#8217;re aiming for. All you gotta do is roll her in flour and go for the wet spot!<\/ul>\n<p>Manola: South Beach wouldn&#8217;t be the same without Fanless. What&#8217;s next for the Fanless we all adore?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<p>I lay low out of necessity! It&#8217;s actually necessary for me to lay low for 2 reasons&#8230; I gotta stay true to what I know, and I can&#8217;t be having people trying to steal my flower! And they try too! Everywhere I go, lovely ladies (and sometimes twinks!) be trying to get my attention and that usually leads to them trying to trick me into stanking them. That ain&#8217;t what I&#8217;m all about, ya know! I ain&#8217;t married and what not. Of course, on the flip side I gotta lay low because this is South Beach! If you&#8217;re sober enough to keep half an eyelid open you&#8217;re gonna see hot chicks! And.. Ya know&#8230; I&#8217;m a man! A man with a thang! When I see lovely South Beach ladies, my thang tries to get a look too! And I can&#8217;t be seen in public with Rusty Johnson standing at attention, know what I&#8217;m saying? People will point and stare and some women would straight pass out if they saw that. Trust me, it&#8217;s happened before! Police were called and stuff. It&#8217;s just easier for me to stay home with my innernets and television and stuff. It&#8217;s really best for everyone.<\/ul>\n<p>Manola:  Dude, what the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.torianus.com\">Torianus.com<\/a> was that all about?<\/p>\n<ul>\nOh, sorry!  What&#8217;s next? I dunno&#8230; Hey, do you have a little sister??<\/ul>\n<p><strong>We know you can&#8217;t get enough of Fanless.  Catch him today at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ambrosiaempire.com\/vegan\/2006\/09\/my-contribution-to-miami-cross.html\">Miami Vegan<\/a>!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/technorati.com\/tag\/blogination\" rel=\"tag\">blogination<\/a>,   <a href=\"http:\/\/technorati.com\/tag\/miami\" rel=\"tag\">miami,<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/technorati.com\/tag\/interview\" rel=\"tag\">interview<\/a> <\/p>\n<div id=\"themify_builder_content-237\" data-postid=\"237\" class=\"themify_builder_content themify_builder_content-237 themify_builder\">\n    <\/div>\n<!-- \/themify_builder_content -->\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As part of the Miami Cross Blogination project, Manola 180 risked life and limb to catch the elusive Fanless on IM! Finally, South Beach&#8217;s sexiest Mexican bares all in a sensitive, heartfelt interview. Manola: Fanless, you&#8217;ve reached over 200,000 hits. WTF? First of all, I hit over 200,000 hits way back in like 1996. But [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[],"tags":[13,10,2],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4uym-3P","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":236,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/09\/18\/drnkcom\/","url_meta":{"origin":237,"position":0},"title":"drnk.com","date":"September 18, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Dear innernets, Is this offensive?? Hey, at least today isn't 9-11! Also, why do I get so annoyed when people say 9-1-1 instead of 9-11?? I love Paul Harvey and all, but I about lose it when I hear him say \"9-1-1\"! It's not 9-1-1! 911 is what you dial\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"FANLESS.com\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":187,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/07\/04\/end-of-4-days\/","url_meta":{"origin":237,"position":1},"title":"end of (4) days","date":"July 4, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"So here's something somewhat interesting... I seem to have caught a cold!On South Beach!At the start of July!!WTF??Do I have AIDS or something? How in the Tori Anus(.com) am I going to get sick this time of year? dumb Here is something even more unbelievable\/ridiculous:187,552 page views last month? WHY?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"FANLESS.com\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":433,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2007\/03\/07\/photoshop\/","url_meta":{"origin":237,"position":2},"title":"Photoshop","date":"March 7, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Photoshop, originally uploaded by FANLESS. Woman hips","rel":"","context":"In \"Uncategorized\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":130,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/05\/12\/3-things\/","url_meta":{"origin":237,"position":3},"title":"3 things","date":"May 12, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"1) As far as I know, a \"Miracle Worker\" tool isn't available in Photoshop. Too bad... I sure could use it right about now. 2) I just had lunch at Thai House and you didn't. (and if you did, why didn't you come by and say \"What up, FANLESS!\"?) Note\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"South Beach\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":183,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/06\/30\/photoshop-miracle-worker\/","url_meta":{"origin":237,"position":4},"title":"Photoshop miracle worker","date":"June 30, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"I like to think of myself as pretty good with Photoshop, but I'm not THAT good!","rel":"","context":"In \"Work\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":228,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/09\/01\/this-is-pretty-much-the-worst-post-ever-made\/","url_meta":{"origin":237,"position":5},"title":"this is pretty much the worst post ever made","date":"September 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"...so I'm sure that by now the innernets know that I've been with my uncle in Alaska hunting Wolverines for the past couple of weeks. Or maybe not. Maybe I was on my way to 8.5 a couple of Saturday nights ago when my past caught up with me and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"FANLESS.com\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/237"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=237"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/237\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=237"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=237"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=237"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}