{"id":261,"date":"2006-10-27T18:59:04","date_gmt":"2006-10-27T22:59:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanless.com\/blog\/2006\/10\/27\/call-now-operators-are-standing-by\/"},"modified":"2006-10-28T08:03:31","modified_gmt":"2006-10-28T12:03:31","slug":"call-now-operators-are-standing-by","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/10\/27\/call-now-operators-are-standing-by\/","title":{"rendered":"Call now! Operators are standing by."},"content":{"rendered":"

Based on the fact that I am pretty much over life and can’t wait to check out, I’m pretty sure I will live forever.
\nHaving said that, if you would like to be able to say “I slept with Christian way back when he was just 31 years old.” some day, then you need to get on the stick! I have just 2 weeks left as a 31 year old.
\n(this offer is only applicable to single females born before 1988. I am available for appearances anywhere within a 10 block radius of the Miami Beach jail. Further, if traveling expenses are paid. hey, traveling expenses are way cheaper than what some are charging<\/a>![link possibly not safe for work])<\/p>\n

Also… Uh… I want to say something about iSpeed<\/a> but I don’t know what. Apparently it was developed by a 13 year old kid and that has placed me in a conundrum.
\nOne one hand, it seems kind of awesome that a 13 year old can\/would develop apps.
\nOn the other hand, I can’t really say anything about iSpeed because I haven’t tried it yet. I’m too scared it will jack up my Mac. After all, it was developed by a 13 year old.
\nBut wait… I thought it was awesome that a 13 year old can\/would develop apps?
\nWell, yeah… But I’m still too skurred to try his app.
\n(actually, I wouldn’t have tried it even if it was made by a 45 year tech veteran because it’s not in english. I AM DUM AMERICAN AND I BARELY KNOW 1 LANGUAGE!!)<\/p>\n

\n <\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Based on the fact that I am pretty much over life and can’t wait to check out, I’m pretty sure I will live forever. Having said that, if you would like to be able to say “I slept with Christian way back when he was just 31 years old.” some day, then you need to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[],"tags":[13,6,9],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4uym-4d","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":260,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/10\/27\/dew-action-sports-tour-in-orlando\/","url_meta":{"origin":261,"position":0},"title":"Dew Action Sports Tour in Orlando","date":"October 27, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"This is Myles Richmond. Can you tell that I am very much into the sequence thing? If I had a better\/newer camera I could have added a couple more shots to this. Like him taking off and landing. Oh, and in case you can't tell, he's actually traveling from right\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"IRL\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":137,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/05\/19\/idaho-no-you-da-ho\/","url_meta":{"origin":261,"position":1},"title":"Idaho? No, you da ho!","date":"May 19, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Three years ago today, we woke up in Coeur d'Alene Idaho. I'm the fat guy on the right (haw haw you can't see me because my layout sucks, and I'm too lazy to resize these pics.), and what you can't see is that the pointer finger on my right hand\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Back home, years ago.\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":239,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/09\/20\/early-warning-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":261,"position":2},"title":"Early Warning","date":"September 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"I don't really have any plans for this weekend, but I kind of hope to find a wife at the casting for Hottest Mom in America on Saturday. (Hey, I just thought of something! I wonder of the \"TRUE MILF\" is going to try out for this show? If so,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Back home, years ago.\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=261"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1384,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261\/revisions\/1384"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=261"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=261"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=261"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}