{"id":568,"date":"2007-06-04T19:15:19","date_gmt":"2007-06-05T00:15:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanless.com\/blog\/2007\/06\/04\/568\/"},"modified":"2007-06-04T19:20:29","modified_gmt":"2007-06-05T00:20:29","slug":"568","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2007\/06\/04\/568\/","title":{"rendered":"4 Year Old MX Champion"},"content":{"rendered":"

First off, skip the first 30 seconds of this video. I have no idea what they were thinking by putting that animation in there.
\nNext, LOLLERZ at this kid’s trophy being bigger than he is!!
\nThird, if you’re tubby then watch the video, but don’t read any further. Especially if you’ve ever thought about letting me sleep with you. Yes, I know I’m a jackass. That’s why God put me here!<\/p>\n

4 Year Old MX Champion<\/b>
\n<\/param><\/object>
Heaven forbid that I ever knock some girl up and have to become a dad (especially a fat girl! Man, I SO DO NOT WANT to be the father for a fat girl’s kid!! I mean, I’m not trying to hate on fat girls… Obviously if there is a possibility of me being a fat girl’s kid, then I like fat girls enough to fuck them. But to have to wake up next to a fat girl every day and say “Yeah, that’s our kid…” would be… Not good! This was actually the subject of a long conversation at Felt the other night. And it’s not just fat girls… You could actually substitute the word “fat” with “lazy\/messy\/dumb\/???” or even a smoker. And now that I’ve said all of that, I’m sure I’ll end up having to marry a lazy, messy, dumb, fat smoker girl! I better keep my shit in check!! Also, HOLY ULTIMATE ASIDE, or what? The kid’s mom in this video made me go off on fat girls. I know tons of super rad fat girls and I will fuck them, I just don’t want to have to be married to them!), but if that should happen I hope my kid won’t still need training wheels when he\/she’s 4 years old!
\nSomeone needs to get this kid in Thor gear, because he hauls!!<\/p>\n
\n <\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

First off, skip the first 30 seconds of this video. I have no idea what they were thinking by putting that animation in there. Next, LOLLERZ at this kid’s trophy being bigger than he is!! Third, if you’re tubby then watch the video, but don’t read any further. Especially if you’ve ever thought about letting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[],"tags":[10,7,11,16],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s4uym-568","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":58,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/03\/16\/stop-staring-at-me-swan\/","url_meta":{"origin":568,"position":0},"title":"stop staring at me, swan!","date":"March 16, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"If I look up from my computer\/work and notice that a girl is like... staring at me, and then I go back to work for a couple more seconds and look up again and she's still staring, that pretty much means she wants to do me, right? Either that, or\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Uncategorized\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":59,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/03\/17\/ricky-carmichael-tattoo-spotted-at-daytona\/","url_meta":{"origin":568,"position":1},"title":"Ricky Carmichael tattoo spotted at Daytona!","date":"March 17, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"This may not be the worst MX tattoo I have ever seen (the fat girl had a Fox head tattooed on the small of her back! - THAT'S the worst I've seen), but the sheer... I don't even know what to call it. I guess the absurdness of it takes\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"IRL\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":192,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/07\/06\/its-a-sledgehammer\/","url_meta":{"origin":568,"position":2},"title":"It’s a Sledgehammer!","date":"July 6, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Andre's kid, Aaron, is here from Denmark for the summer, and he brought a friend. I think they're both 10 years old. I loaned them my GT Show and Gary Fisher Lush Rush Cruiser for them to ride while they're here. The only problem (besides 4 flat tires) was that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Riding\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":144,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/05\/25\/not-over-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":568,"position":3},"title":"not over it","date":"May 25, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"I don't get why people think it is ok to call me \"Chris\". I mean, it's totally ok for old friends and family from Othello to call me that, but not clients that only know me via my email signature of \"Christian\". I don't know why it annoys me so\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Uncategorized\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":105,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/04\/21\/south-beach-breakfast\/","url_meta":{"origin":568,"position":4},"title":"South Beach Breakfast!","date":"April 21, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Just incase anyone is mistaken and actually thinks I might be Bruce Willis or something, (I'm not!) this is (was) my breakfast today. (this is where you chime in with \"zOMG NO WONDER YOU'RE SO FAT!!\" and such.)","rel":"","context":"In \"IRL\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":844,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2008\/03\/18\/this-is-why-im-hot-or-why-i-was-hot-on-saturday\/","url_meta":{"origin":568,"position":5},"title":"This is why I’m hot!! (or why I WAS hot on Saturday)","date":"March 18, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Check this out! Carl made a 6 minute video of my fat ass riding at Amelia on Saturday!","rel":"","context":"In "videos"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/568"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=568"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/568\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=568"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=568"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=568"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}