{"id":794,"date":"2007-12-31T12:07:44","date_gmt":"2007-12-31T17:07:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanless.com\/blog\/2007\/12\/31\/how-to-lose-7-lbs-in-10-days\/"},"modified":"2020-06-11T09:14:38","modified_gmt":"2020-06-11T17:14:38","slug":"how-to-lose-7-lbs-in-10-days","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2007\/12\/31\/how-to-lose-7-lbs-in-10-days\/","title":{"rendered":"“How to Lose 7 Lbs in 10 Days”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Or… “How the Gallbladder Stole Christmas”<\/strong><\/p>\n

A 15-Step Program by Balou<\/u><\/p>\n

1) Plan a trip to Disney World four months in advance.<\/p>\n

2) Charge $300 in hotel and admission ticket costs to your Visa.<\/p>\n

3) Request vacation time from work, check the burnaby condos for sale<\/a> and buy one of them, or check Twiddy obx rentals<\/span><\/a> and rent a house for a couple of days, or just request two camping days, go on the Survival Cooking<\/a> site and get the best camping equipment – like that camping knife<\/a> I’ve been dreaming about. <\/p>\n

4) Drive 3.5 hours from Miami to Orlando.<\/p>\n

5) Get to Disney World and immediately commence abdominal pain sequence.<\/p>\n

6) After 12 hours in pain, force your sister to drive you to the E\/R in Celebration, Florida.<\/p>\n

7) Spend six hours in the E\/R getting ultrasounds, x-rays, blood work and urinalysis.<\/p>\n

8 ) Get diagnosed with Multiple Layering Gallstones, Gallstones in the Common Bile Duct, Massive Pancreatitis and Severe Anemia.<\/p>\n

9) Leave the E\/R “AMA” (Against Medical Advice), go back to hotel, pack and drive the 3.5 hours back to Miami.<\/p>\n

10) Get admitted to local Miami hospital.<\/p>\n

11) Receive nothing but intravenouse Potassium Chloride, antibiotics and hemoglobin for 9 days. (Day 5 allows for jello and a cup of chicken broth.)<\/p>\n

12) Wait for antibitoics to kick in and bring down pancreatic swelling in order to have surgery. Go to this page<\/a> to learn about addiction treatments in rehab centers to learn more.<\/p>\n

13) Have two surgical procedures within 24 hours of each other, on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.<\/p>\n

14) Make sure first solid food consumed in 9 days is a runny, egglike substance that makes you gag.<\/p>\n

15) Viola! Seven pounds gone and you now fit into your pretty New Year’s Eve party\u00c2\u00a0dress.<\/p>\n

\n <\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Or… “How the Gallbladder Stole Christmas” A 15-Step Program by Balou 1) Plan a trip to Disney World four months in advance. 2) Charge $300 in hotel and admission ticket costs to your Visa. 3) Request vacation time from work, check the burnaby condos for sale and buy one of them, or check Twiddy obx […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4uym-cO","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":179,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/06\/28\/cut-it-up\/","url_meta":{"origin":794,"position":0},"title":"cut it up","date":"June 28, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Back in the day when I would kick it with Turbo, Ozone and Kelly, I thought this guy was so cool! I still think that he's cool. Or rather, I still think he was cool back then. Now, I'm not so sure. I got a call from the Apple store\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Uncategorized\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":431,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2007\/03\/06\/things\/","url_meta":{"origin":794,"position":1},"title":"things","date":"March 6, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I hope you like how my blog looks because I don't. I miss my pink and green! As soon as I have some free time, am in the mood and HAVE MY iMac BACK!! I will get things back to looking how they should. 10 or so days ago I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Computers\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":123,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/05\/05\/lol-what-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":794,"position":2},"title":"LOL WHAT","date":"May 5, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Best request of the day!! \"I would love to have the newspaper add flipped to face the other way. Also, I do not want it to look like it was from the newspaper.. can you see how to fix that. Thanks \" Uh... The picture is a scan from a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Uncategorized\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":421,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2007\/02\/26\/consum0r\/","url_meta":{"origin":794,"position":3},"title":"consum0r","date":"February 26, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Recently, Brandon and I have put our bikes on a diet. Here is a list of parts I plan on purchasing this week. $900+ is a bit of a tough pill to swallow, but you have to pay to play, I guess. PLZ advise if there are some things on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Computers\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1264,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2010\/04\/25\/twitter-updates-for-2010-04-25\/","url_meta":{"origin":794,"position":4},"title":"Twitter Updates for 2010-04-25","date":"April 25, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm at Target (3401 North Miami Ave, Miami). http:\/\/4sq.com\/8p0x8C # I'm at five guys burger - midtown (3401 N. Miami Ave #124 Miami). http:\/\/4sq.com\/73ifsT # I subscribed to AndrewShortMX29's channel on YouTube http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/AndrewShortMX29?feature=autoshare_twitter # It's not raining this morning! -Powered by http:\/\/pikchur.com\/pYg - Photo: http:\/\/bkite.com\/4lair # Deadliest Catch South Beach\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":226,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/08\/15\/now-this-is-how-you-start-your-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":794,"position":5},"title":"Now this is how you start your morning!","date":"August 15, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Some days I get annoyed by the emails people send me. Especially when they say things like \"It is still wrong - pls correct\" and then I'm like O RLY??? I don't know if people think I can read minds or what. How about telling me what exactly needs to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Work\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/794"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=794"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/794\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1559,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/794\/revisions\/1559"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}