{"id":819,"date":"2008-01-31T03:36:42","date_gmt":"2008-01-31T08:36:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanless.com\/blog\/2008\/01\/31\/reason-1-to-not-get-married-or-have-kids\/"},"modified":"2008-04-02T21:34:14","modified_gmt":"2008-04-03T02:34:14","slug":"reason-1-to-not-get-married-or-have-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2008\/01\/31\/reason-1-to-not-get-married-or-have-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Reason #1 to not get married or have kids!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I received an interesting email from one of my mom’s cousins tonight…
\n\"Funds
\nApparently, I have to pay $60\/year to be in the family. Funny, this is the first I’ve heard of these “dues”. I don’t plan on paying. I wonder if I’ll get kicked out of the family? If nothing else, I have a new reason to not show up at the family reunion. “Oh, sorry… I forgot to pay my dues, so now I can’t go. Maybe I’ll see you in 2014??” This is also a tremendous reason to not get married or have kids… “But if we get married, then you’ll have to pay $60\/year to be a part of our family!”<\/p>\n

I received an interesting phone call last night. Two friends that don’t call nearly as often as I would like, rang me up to ask why I didn’t tell them about my girlfriend. Naturally, I was like… What? They read off a couple of lines, named a couple of names and web sites and things kind of started to fall into place. It was not exactly easy to set them straight. It should have been an amazingly LOLlerrific misunderstanding, but instead I found it rather annoying. There’s actually a lot of such chatter going around, and that’s what I find annoying. And, sadly, I can’t say I didn’t have my hand in its creation… I thought I was helping create some lulz, but it has kind of turned around and kicked my ass. Oh well. It’s not a big deal, and I’ll take that over almost anything else, any day! Things could be a lot worse.<\/p>\n

Speaking of lulz, I think I have some here<\/a>. They might seem fairly vague, and the lulz might be kind of hard to find without any sort of explanation, so feel free to ask about them if you wish.<\/p>\n

Lastly, Carl<\/a> is going to be on some bootleg underground local radio station<\/a> (97.7) today (Thursday) at 6PM, offering some relationship advice or something like that. You know, Dr Phil\/Dr. Drew type stuff. He said it’s meant to be funny and not serious, so you should check it out!<\/p>\n

\n <\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I received an interesting email from one of my mom’s cousins tonight… Apparently, I have to pay $60\/year to be in the family. Funny, this is the first I’ve heard of these “dues”. I don’t plan on paying. I wonder if I’ll get kicked out of the family? If nothing else, I have a new […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[73],"tags":[41,44,45,46,47],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4uym-dd","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":581,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2007\/06\/21\/lulz-of-the-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":819,"position":0},"title":"lulz of the day","date":"June 21, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Jules (or Jewles, as I like to call him), did you know that Hitler started the Holocaust because a Jewish prostitute gave him syphilis? Jules: I don't think that's true. Where did you hear that? Me: Digg! Jules: (eyeroll) That's just a conspiracy theory. Me: Yeah, right! You just\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"IRL\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":774,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2007\/12\/05\/thanks-for-the-lulz-and-lol-jk-about-the-terrorist-thing\/","url_meta":{"origin":819,"position":1},"title":"thanks for the lulz, and LOL J\/K about the terrorist thing!","date":"December 5, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"You may have seen some of the comments I get on this dumb blog, and thought... \"WTF?\" Right? I mean, I know that's what I think! Surely you know what I'm talking about. They're typed in the terrorist language, and include an email address and\/or a phone number where you're\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"FANLESS.com\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":846,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2008\/03\/19\/beware-of-the-easter-nigga-charlie-brown\/","url_meta":{"origin":819,"position":2},"title":"BEWARE OF THE EASTER NIGGA CHARLIE BROWN!","date":"March 19, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"This is one of my favorite animations. If you think you might be offended by the content, don't watch it. It is from MostOffensiveVideo.com, after all, so consider yourself warned.","rel":"","context":"In "lulz"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":269,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2006\/11\/01\/stats\/","url_meta":{"origin":819,"position":3},"title":"stats","date":"November 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"October produced better numbers than September, but I have a strong suspicion that August will reign king for at least 6 more months. Oh, also... Happy birthday to my friend Phil Hanks! He's 32 today. Actually, I maybe shouldn't say that. I haven't seen or talked to the guy in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Back home\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":775,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2007\/12\/06\/holidazed\/","url_meta":{"origin":819,"position":4},"title":"Holidazed!","date":"December 6, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Here we have some holiday lulz courtesy of Balou! (L2R:Kevin, Yvette, ME!, and Maria.)","rel":"","context":"In \"LOL INNERNETS\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":823,"url":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/2008\/02\/04\/this-weekend\/","url_meta":{"origin":819,"position":5},"title":"This weekend…","date":"February 4, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"I saw this. Ate here. Went to this. Then ate again. Definitely watched this. Here. With Yvette, Fanless, MKH, Alexdc, Ipanemic and Rick (welcome back to the blogosphere, Rick!!) Yep - it was a pretty great weekend all around. \u00c2\u00a0(posted by Balou)","rel":"","context":"In "hanging out"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"builder_content":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/819"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=819"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/819\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=819"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=819"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.torianus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=819"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}