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Some people are dum.
For example… I’m working on a comp card for this girl and she has her stats listed as “BUST: 24A WAIST: 28 HIPS: 42.5” and I’m like OLOLOL because… can you say “pear shaped”? And this girl totally isn’t.
So I email her booker asking if the stats are correct, and she replies, “yes, that is what she wrote. Thanks for checking”.
Alrighty then! I would love to see someone with measurements like that!

Am I working or fucking around??

Holy cow! I think it’s raining!!!
I can’t believe it!

Is it sacrilegious of me to wear a Fox t-shirt and a Thor MX hat at the same time? Because that’s what I’m doing right now.
Also, did you ever notice that I wear Fox shorts, jersey and gloves when I go riding, even though I’m riding with Brandon, and he works for Thor, the competition? Does that make me an asshole friend? In my own defense, I bought that gear before Brandon became a South East Regional Marketing Specialist for Thor, and Thor doesn’t make riding gear.
At least I’m supporting the motocross industry, right?

I love it when I do things in the most simple way (read: I’M LAZY!), like make a business card with black text on a white background with whatever the default font is (Helvetica, in my install of Quark) and then the client is like “zOMG THIS LOOKS REALLY NICE!!”
And I’m like LOL WHAT

Hey guys, I was in the IRL all weekend long! What did I miss?

Hey guys, Ladies Love Cool Christian!!

Hey guys, what’s wrong with this picture??
(Hint: What’s different about my bike?)

Need directions, originally uploaded by FANLESS.

New business cards!

I love it when I get emails that just say “photoshop face on right side”! orly? What exactly shall I do to it?
At this point I’d like to photoshop a dagger going through their face!!

Smokers!, originally uploaded by FANLESS.

Somebody trying to burn down my desk?

Have you ever noticed/realized how amazingly boring/pointless life seems once you’ve achieved all of your goals*, met all of your heros**, and bought everything you ever wanted***?
It kind of sucks.
Especially if you’ve burned a few bridges and damaged your body beyond repair in the process.
It’s not like you can just hit a reset button and start over.

* (and realized you should have set the bar a little higher!)
** (and realized that they’re just people too, and sometimes assholes and/or really short)
*** (and realized that those things are not as awesome as they seem in their marketing propaganda)

This is almost better than the 7th Floor Crew debacle!
Now to find this guy’s profile and add him as a “friend”.

Come by the shop right now. I’m running the show this morning and I’ll give you free stuff because I don’t know how to run the cash register!!

Things to do when I get home from work tonight:
Make Fall Out Boy ringtones
Make Chamillionaire ringtones
Look for Killer Mike on emusic.com
Look into getting my RAZR replaced
Remember to listen to DMXS Radio tonight (I think it’s tonight)
Confirm that I finished watching Prison Break (I can’t remember how it ended and I just watched it last night!)
Maybe update some plugins for wordpress.

I am open to suggestions!

I am the king of procrastination, and it kind of sucks.
When I’m at work and have 78667767 things to do, I can find another 767678 things in my digg.com widget that I want to read, but can’t because I’m supposed to be doing work at work. I usually drag the URL to the articles that I think I want to read to my thumbdrive so I can read them when I get home, but usually when I’m at home and have nothing to do I wonder why I ever thought those articles were at all interesting.
The same thing kind of applies at home now too. When I had tons of laundry or general apartment cleaning to do, I could find 876767 other more interesting things to do instead. But now that my apartment is (relatively) clean, and I pretty much don’t have anything important to do, I can’t find anything interesting at all to do.
Hello, brain? When I have nothing to do is when I need to find very boring things interesting, ok? NOT when I have more pressing matters to attend to.