Oct 22 2006
Oct 18 2006
hook ’em young!
Oct 17 2006
some kids at the dew tour
Oct 12 2006
smack that bitch!
Do you know what really bums me out about this year’s weak hurricane season? Fewer opportunities to capture something like this!
I don’t even watch hurricane news, but I happened to have it on when this happened, and I decided to put it on youtube. (obviously this was months ago)
By FANLESS • Uncategorized • 1 • Tags: LOL INNERNETS, TV
Oct 12 2006
Do the chickens have large talons?
As of 10:30 AM this morning, I have 38 fresh emails in my inbox, and today I am going to attempt the impossible! I will try to address each of these emails by 6 PM!
Each email usually equals one order I need to work on, and if that average holds true today, then at my usual pace I would need… 1.5-2 days to handle them all. But not today! Today I will be trying to work double time! I just hope I don’t fuck anything up.
PLZ wish me luck! (I’ll need it.)
Oct 10 2006
Diora on the Scream Awards tonight!
Be sure to watch Spike TV’s Scream Awards show tonight at 10 PM! I think Diora gives out an award.
Oct 6 2006
Diora on Jimmy Kimmel Live!
**ATTENTION!!**
Andre just called me from backstage at the Jimmy Kimmel Live show, and he said Diora is going to be on the show tonight! WATCH IT!!
And if you don’t know who Diora is… Well, maybe I’ll make a post about her tomorrow.
By FANLESS • Uncategorized • 15 • Tags: I WOULD!!!, IRL, TV, Work
Sep 27 2006
drama llama
In here we have some boondongle keychains internet drama. A must-have for this season’s fashion.
Even though http://stuckonthepalmetto.blogspot.com and CriticalMiami.com are pretty much the only blogs I visit (oh, and TheDirtMiami.com) I wasn’t interested enough to actually read each of the comments all the way through. That meant I couldn’t really decide who I wanted to win the argument, so I did the most logical thing… I made a linkfight!
As you can see http://stuckonthepalmetto.blogspot.com pretty much got p0wnt, which kind of bummed me out because I thought the premisses of the debate was pretty lame. Say what you want about online polls, but it’s still kind of fun to click on buttons and look at graphs.
But, you know… These innernets are zOMG SERIOUS BUSINESS!!
…and that gave me the brilliant idea of… A POLL!!
…and do you know what is even more ridiculous than arguing over online polls…? Getting Screech to promote your web hosting business!
That wasn’t even what I was going to type about, but I spent too long playing with linkfight and now I want to watch The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift!
By FANLESS • Uncategorized • 6 • Tags: LOL INNERNETS
Sep 25 2006
oh good greif!
I think this is the 3rd Sunday night in a row where I am photoshopping into the wee hours of the morning.
This is going to make me get old really quick, and on top of that, I’ll probably grow tired of this photoshop-at-home thing really quick.
I’m already to a point where I don’t want to do it for the amount of money I’m getting, but on the flip side I don’t feel like there is anything that needs to be done to these pics that would warrant being paid more money. It kind of sucks because I want to help this person out, but at the same time I want to have my weekends free to do whatever I want to do.
Do I break free from them this early in the game so they don’t invest any more time in a relationship with me or do I try to make it work and/or hope they just move on on their own recognizance?
It’s kind of dumb. I wish I were more awesome at Photoshop so I could just burn through the images fast enough so I would still have most of my weekend free.
Sep 21 2006
The amazing things I see from my desk!
You may remember seeing the below garbage can in this post, and I’m sure I will be posting more pictures of it in the future. But check out what I saw just before coming home for lunch today!

I’m sure you can guess what happens next!!
P.S.: I am swimming in a sea of possible subject lines for this post! A cornucopia, if you will. The possibilities are endless!
“The REAL South Beach Diet!”
“Hello, my name is Raaaalph!”
“I’m sorry, were you going to eat that?”
“Atta girl!”
“B&P: It’s not just for models!”
Please leave a comment with your own possible subject lines for extra lulz!
By FANLESS • Uncategorized • 7 • Tags: IRL, Pictures, South Beach
Sep 20 2006
LQQK @ me! I’M (almost) FAMOUS!!
In the illustrious words of Ron Burgundy, “I don’t know how to put this… but… I’m kind of a big deal!”
I mean, if a person designs a shoe and then it is on the shoe manufacturer’s website, that kind of makes it a signature shoe, right? So this is my Air Jordan, yes? Or to show a little more fealty to Etnies, my signature shoe is liken to Taj’s Roscoe (or even the Trauma from back in the day). Rooftop’s… uh… Rooftop! Joe Rich’s uh… dang, the name of his shoe just slipped my mind. What the hell was it called?? Maybe that’s why they don’t sell it now… Um… It was somewhat close to the Trauma… Like it started with a T… C’mon brain! Don’t fail me now!! I know… I’ll see if it’s on that cool timeline thing on etnies’ site. OH YEAH! The Throttle! I’m sure you get my point: I’M AWESOME! Does Travis Pastrana have a signature DC shoe? I don’t think so! He may have one-off Thor Lumber Jack gear, but is he going to wear it to the mall? Not very likely. (I guess it’s about as likely as Travas Pastrana hanging out at a mall, but… semantics, ya know? Oh, and beyond that, didn’t Travis donate his Lumber Jack jersey to the David Bailey Extravaganza auction or something?)
I’m actually not done typing yet. I’m going to divulge into the not-so-deep history I have with wearing Etnies.
Way back in July of 2001, Kim and I were in NYC and I was dying to get a pair of Taj’s zOMG BRAND NEW Traumas! We hit pretty much every shop between Grand and Broadway all the way up to Central Park. I’m serious! Ask Kim!! All I wanted was a size 10.5 pair of Etnies so I could be cool like Taj. I ended up getting a pair of Etnies Tremors* at YRB instead. That was my very first pair of Etnies. They’re pretty beat up by now, but they fit so well. I still wear them when we hit the trails.
I never got a pair of Traumas, but after a couple of years and a couple of pairs of Vans/Orchids/Fluevogs/whatever passed, Taj got a new signature pair of Etnies in the afore mentioned Roscoe. Well, once I saw them I knew there was no way I was going to not get a pair! And I finally did, in the spring of 2005. I think this is the only picture I have of those. And not too long after that, I got a pair of Rune Glifberg’s signature Etnies, The Tip. Then in December of 2005 I got another pair of Roscos, this time in Green/Yellow. (I guess I don’t have a picture of them) I’ve worn those shoes almost exclusively all year. They’re a little dirty, but really not showing any wear.
It seems kind of amazing that I was able to go 9+ months without buying new shoes. I LOVE SHOES! I mean, I just pointed out that I bought 3 pairs of Etnies in 2005. I guess it just goes to show how broke I’ve been this year.
My recent raise should alleviate that some.
So, go buy a pair of Etnies, but before you do, be sure to play a little Braap Braap! and if you don’t totally suck at it, you’ll get a discount on your purchase.
Oh, P.S.: I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everybody that helped me get to where I’m at today. Self; thank you, self. I owe it all to you!
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*Ok, what is the proper grammar for this? The shoe name is “Tremor”, but I bought a pair… as in two shoes, not one. So do I just change the name to “Tremors” or do I say “I bought a pair of Etnies Tremor” because I’m talking about one pair??? This is why I need a r1lly smrt girlfriend; so I could ask her questions like this all of the time.
By FANLESS • Uncategorized • 0 • Tags: FANLESS.com, IRL, LOL INNERNETS
Sep 20 2006
Early Warning
I don’t really have any plans for this weekend, but I kind of hope to find a wife at the casting for Hottest Mom in America on Saturday. (Hey, I just thought of something! I wonder of the “TRUE MILF” is going to try out for this show? If so, will she demonstrate her special talent at the casting?? OH SNAP! I just found the most amazing web site on all of the innernets (maybe not work safe – I actually can’t wait to get to work to show everyone this gem!!) while browsing the milf squirter’s site. At first I just assumed they were sound effects, but watch the 3 sample videos and judge for yourself. My friend Kim should start a site like that! She’d probably make millions.) Failing that, I’ll probably spend a considerable amount of time at the Zephyrhill Beach Volleyball Series National Championships From Miami Beach! It’s actually Family Fitness Weekend here on the beach, so there are several things going on. Oh, and the Motocross des Nations is this weekend, so I’ll probably be trying to stay on top of that too. I’d probably be a lot less interested if James Stewart wasn’t on Team USA.
I don’t think I have any plans for the next 2 weekends, but the Jeremy McGrath Invitational is on the weekend of October 6-7th. I plan on being in Orlando October 13-15th for the Dew Action Sports Tour. I’m still waiting for Brandon to get back to me on whether or not we have hook-ups. The US Open of Supercross is that same weekend.
I don’t have any plans for the weekend after that, but I think I have to be in West Palm on Sunday the 29th for Mia’s 1st birthday party. Might be a Halloween party stuffed in there somewhere too.
I have 3 tickets to see New Found Glory on the following Saturday, November 4th, at Revolution in Ft. Lauderdale. If you’re single, over 18, female, and have a friend that matches these criteria, and you’re willing to give me a ride to/from the show, you and your friend can share my 3 tickets with me. Otherwise, I’ll make Kim and Brandon drive down from West Palm, pick me up on the beach, drive back to Ft. Lauderdale for the show, drive back to South Beach to drop me off, AND THEN they can drive back to West Palm. Hey, if you think that’s a lot of miles to cover for a concert, just remember that when I was growing up in Washington State we would have to drive to Seattle (probably 350 miles round trip!) or Spokane (250 miles round trip) to see anyone worth seeing! Also… Back in 2001 Kim and I flew to NYC to see NFG! I also flew to Oklahoma City Oklahoma and Seattle to see Blink 182 that year. I must have been kind of rich back then. The summer of 2001 was kind of crazy… I spent like $300 to get into the MacWorld Keynote in NYC, and then the next weekend I flew to Kansas City MO where my parents picked me up and we drove to Manhattan Kansas for a family reunion. I wonder what my hick cousins thought of me when I was like… “Yeah, this morning I was on South Beach and I just got home from spending 10 days in Manhattan and now I’m in Manhattan Kansas. WTF?”. Then my parents flew back to Florida with me and they hung out for a week or so. That was the first and only time they came to visit me down here. That was also the first and only time I have been to Key West. Then about a month later September 11th happened and I already had plans made/tickets purchased to fly to OKC on September 15th. I remember sweating those 4 days HOPING none of my flights would be screwed up. That ended up being a pretty cool trip. Then I flew to Seattle in December. Things were definitely different for me back then. I mean, as of right now I am overdrawn by $56.22 so obviously I’m not traveling as much these days. Oh, also… I just got a raise at work which is pretty awesome! I’ve been pretty proud of how hard I’ve been working for the past couple of months and it’s nice to be rewarded for my hard work. Now if everybody that owes me money would pay me I might be able to fly somewhere! And I’ll get to where in a sec… I kind of went off on a tangent there. ANYWAYS…
I will turn 32 one week after the NFG show. The Swatch Paparazzi is being featured on woot.com today and that would make a tremendous birthday present for a guy like me! I’d buy it for myself, but, as I said… I’m overdrawn! And if you’re female, over 18, and single and you bought me that watch, I would be willing to TRY TO make you squirt like the afore mentioned squirting milf! I really want that watch! Actually, I’d love to have any of the Swatch Smart watches for men. I’d also love to have a Swatch Nautilus. That was the very first Swatch I owned. I think I got it in 1986. I’ve wanted to get another one ever since I lost mine.
Let’s see… The weekend after that would be the weekend before Thanksgiving and I don’t think I have anything planned. Oh, you know what…? I think the Nintendo Wii comes out on November 19th and I’d love to get my hands on one of those, even if just to play Excite Truck! Then Thanksgiving weekend… And then nothing for the following weekend and then…
I will probably be flying to Seattle on Thursday December 7th! This trip will probably be a carbon copy of last year where I flew to Seattle on a Thursday and the innernets got me drnk and then the next day I was really Really REALLY R1LLY hungover and we had to pull over 3 times so I could vomit on the side of I-90 while crossing the Cascades en-route to the farm. That was one of the worst days of my life, but the trip as a whole was pretty awesome!
Of course, you know what happens after one more planless weekend… Christmas and then New Year’s Eve!! And that’s the rest of my year.
Oh, I forgot… I think there are 2 rounds of the World Supercross championship in December, but I forget when they are exactly.
And then the real Supercross series starts in Anaheim on January 6th and then I think MacWorld starts on the 9th and then…
WOW! That was a lot of typing!!
By FANLESS • Uncategorized • 2 • Tags: Back home, years ago., FANLESS.com, IRL, LOL INNERNETS, South Beach, Supercross, Work









Oct 23 2006
innernets ruler
If I were the overlord of the innernets and I could control anything on the net I wanted by simply clicking on a button, these are the 5 things I would do first:
1) Bring back Amy and Steph’s blogs. Amy’s blog has been gone for only a couple of days, but I already miss it.
2) Threaded comments. I’ve tried to add threaded comments to fanless.com a couple of times, but it never worked exactly how I wanted it to. Actually, I never got them to work at all, but I blame a lack of documentation, not a lack of fully functioning brain cells. I think threaded comments are what I miss most from my liveurinal.
3) Theme changer. Back in 2000, one of the things I wanted most on a website was the ability to easily change its look. I think that for the most part, my blog would look how it looks now, but I would also have skins or whatever that were mostly black and mostly green. And maybe one that was mostly blue or red. Oh, I would also want these skins to be selected randomly on each visit.
4) Wider content area! One thing I hate about the theme I am using now is that I can’t post 800 pixel wide pictures. I can’t even post 640 px pics. I mean, I CAN, but then they run into the sidebar and that isn’t good. I like the lightbox thing well enough, but sometimes I’m too lazy to click on pics to make them bigger and 400-450 pixel wide images are just too small for me. I have a big-ass screen for a reason, ya know!
5) What am I listening to? You see that list of stuff I’ve been listening to on the sidebar? It probably lists a bunch of podcasts and maybe some Chamillionaire or rap from the 90s. Well, those tracks are clickable but clicking on them won’t take you anywhere. When I implemented that into the page, I was running dottunes and you COULD download the tracks. But then I got a little scared I was going to get sued or something and it was totally sucking up my bandwidth from home and then I moved my iTunes library to my G3 and when I tried to run dottunes on that computer I found out that my registration was tied to my iMac G5 and it was too much bother to get a new serial number. Maybe I’ll look into getting that fixed tonight.
I think I had a couple more things to add but I forgot them. OH YEAH!! At this moment I have 19,056 pictures in my iPhoto library (all taken within the last 2 years). If it were as simple as clicking a button, they would all be online right now.
By FANLESS • Uncategorized • 5 • Tags: FANLESS.com, LOL INNERNETS