The #1 reason to not hang out on South Beach if you’re a local (and a prude, I guess).

I woke up this morning and I was instantly bored. I checked the innernets, but it was too early for fresh content, and I had stayed up too late reading everything I had missed during the week. I thought about walking over to the beach, but it wasn’t enticing enough for me to leave my abode. Everyone with snow and ice on the ground is like OMG I would kill to be on the beach right now!!!, but not me.
I think the beach is pretty boring. I suppose it’s ok if you go with friends, but to go alone is just too mellow for me. And when you’re a local, especially an expatriate from Central Washington State, there are certain perils that come with visiting South Beach that a person might not think of. Allow me to indulge…
People tend to show a lot of skin on South Beach and that’s one of the properties that makes it so great. If you feel like seeing bare boobies, you walk over to the beach, and there you go. But this is where problems can arise. Say you’re walking along the beach, minding your own business, not even trying to look at boobs, and all of a sudden you hear “Christian! CHRISTIAN!!!” and you’re like, “What? Is someone calling me??” and you look around to see one of your friends jogging over to meet you at the water’s edge. You talk with your friend for a minute or two and they invite you back to their spot on the beach to hang out for a bit. You oblige, being that you have nothing better to do, and then you’re introduced to your friend’s new girlfriend. And that’s when you realize that she’s topless and you’re very thankful you spent the extra $10 for mirrored lenses on your sunglasses!
OR WORSE…! Imagine bumping into your boss/doctor/mail man/banker/professor/member of the clergy/whoever and they’re topless or wearing a Speedo! TALK ABOUT AWKWARD!!
Now, I’m sure that my upbringing has something to do with my prudeness and such, but I’m sure I’m not the only person who finds it hard to keep the same level of respect for a person once you’ve seen them in such a state of undress.
Anyways, I didn’t go to the beach this morning, so here are 3 pictures I took on the beach on January 1st.