“How to Lose 7 Lbs in 10 Days”

Or… “How the Gallbladder Stole Christmas”

A 15-Step Program by Balou

1) Plan a trip to Disney World four months in advance.

2) Charge $300 in hotel and admission ticket costs to your Visa.

3) Request vacation time from work, check the burnaby condos for sale and buy one of them, or check Twiddy obx rentals and rent a house for a couple of days, or just request two camping days, go on the Survival Cooking site and get the best camping equipment – like that camping knife I’ve been dreaming about.

4) Drive 3.5 hours from Miami to Orlando.

5) Get to Disney World and immediately commence abdominal pain sequence.

6) After 12 hours in pain, force your sister to drive you to the E/R in Celebration, Florida.

7) Spend six hours in the E/R getting ultrasounds, x-rays, blood work and urinalysis.

8 ) Get diagnosed with Multiple Layering Gallstones, Gallstones in the Common Bile Duct, Massive Pancreatitis and Severe Anemia.

9) Leave the E/R “AMA” (Against Medical Advice), go back to hotel, pack and drive the 3.5 hours back to Miami.

10) Get admitted to local Miami hospital.

11) Receive nothing but intravenouse Potassium Chloride, antibiotics and hemoglobin for 9 days. (Day 5 allows for jello and a cup of chicken broth.)

12) Wait for antibitoics to kick in and bring down pancreatic swelling in order to have surgery. Go to this page to learn about addiction treatments in rehab centers to learn more.

13) Have two surgical procedures within 24 hours of each other, on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

14) Make sure first solid food consumed in 9 days is a runny, egglike substance that makes you gag.

15) Viola! Seven pounds gone and you now fit into your pretty New Year’s Eve party dress.